Controlling Money

"Too many people spend money they earned..to buy things they don't want..to impress people that they don't like." --Will Rogers

Money is a very powerful tool. It is something that lots of people don't know how to control. This could be a variety of different things like the impulse of buying pointless stuff, losing track of where you spend your money, multiple uses of credit cards, etc. Many of us right on the day we get our checks from work instantly go out and buy our many wants and many things that we think will make us happy forever. When I was in high school, I didn't use the direct deposit option and would get a check each payday. My bank that I was using was one minute away the nearest GameStop. I would go deposit my check, withdraw some money from that recent deposited check, and go to GameStop and buy quite a bit of games. I would go home and my mom would say, "Did you deposit your check today?" and I would reply, "Yes, I did." and then the next question, "Did you go to GameStop?". Sometimes I would tell the truth and sometimes I would sneakily lie and run off.

My impulse buying didn't stop there. While I was on my church mission, I wanted to be the "cool board gaming missionary". I spent over $300 my first month and a half on my mission so I could bring games to our activity days. I wanted to be noticed by all the other missionaries by buying lots of stuff that I would not really want in the long run. As I started to realize, I didn't have a ton to spend in my savings so I better managed my money.

But what really was a wake up call to me for money management was two major events that happened on my mission. First, my companion and I with another set of missionaries were going to a gas station to get some snacks, there were a lot of homeless people hanging around there. Lots of them asked us for money, which we couldn't give them. But seeing them in this situation because lots of them had no money or were in a lot of debt was scary. They had their addictions which cost them lots of money. They kept asking us for money so that they could buy cigarettes or beer or whatever addictions they were in. I didn't want to ever be in that kind of situation ever in my life. Second, I was nearing the end of my mission and my parents and I were talking about what my next step would be when I came home, mostly school. It wasn't until then that I realized how little money I had left. Like the first event, I realized how close I was to having no money to do with. 

Overall, I had developed this insane fear of having no money. I didn't want to have my lack of money control me. I wanted it to be the opposite. I wanted to control my money and where it went. I started my personal budgeting plan and started to notice where my money was going and what I was spending it on. I had a emergency account and another small account for activities and food use. Seeing my leftover budgeted money added to my savings account each pay day continue to rise more and more made me feel happy and accomplished.

Since then, I have developed this, I don't whether to call it a blessing or a curse. Whenever I go shopping, whether it be online or at the store, I look at something I want and I ask myself two crucial questions:

1. Do I NEED this?
2. Will I use this continuously or just use it once or twice and never touch it again?

There are some days where these two questions have saved me a lot of money. There are also some days where I do feel a little annoyed that I asked these questions, but I keep reminding myself that in the long run it definitely pays off. Recently I was looking to buy a new computer just mainly for gaming purposes to play with friends. I looked around for weeks on which computer I would like. My current computer could play the game already. As I was searching, those two questions kept coming up in my head. I already had a computer that could do what I wanted it to do, so why was I looking for another computer to do the exact same thing my current computer can do?

It was also around this time that I discovered a show named the Dave Ramsey Show. Surprisingly, the advice that this show was giving was stuff that I was already doing. It mainly was to help people get out of debt and become free, but the simple steps to take were stuff I had already implemented in my budget. But hearing his show reassured me that I was on the right track and that I was doing better than most people across the United States. The average amount of debt for just credit cards alone in 2017 was $15,654.  I would be terrified if I had that amount of debt in just credit cards alone at this certain time in my life. 

This quote could never be more on the dot by Dave Ramsey: “You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you." Too many of us are living just on the edge of financial crisis. We spend so much money as soon as we get it that our lack of money controls how we live, what we eat, where we travel, and how we react. I don't want money to control how I live my life. I want to control my money so that I don't have to stress on how little I need to spend to just get by. Money does not buy happiness, but it definitely PROVIDES happiness.

Can Football Ever Be Completely Safe?

Can Football Ever Be Completely Safe?

Introduction

            Jimmy has always been a big fan of football. He remembers watching it constantly with his brothers and father whenever time would allow. It was only natural that when it came to Jimmy being the right age that he would be ready to play some tackle football for himself. This had been the moment Jimmy dreamed of. He was actually going to play the sport that he watched for a long time. What Jimmy didn’t expect was the constant contact that he would experience is different than just watching the sport itself.

Sports has been part of our lives more than we realize. We have played multiple kinds of sport games throughout our life or supported someone who played a specific sport. Most all sports, if not all, require some kind of physical activity. Some can also include contact with a player with another. Isn’t it great that we have these great protective gear that protects us from all contact? Even though some sports require specific equipment to be worn so it may protect the player doesn’t fully prevent them from getting injured. The two that seem to be most common is football and hockey. These two sports have continuous hitting and contact with other players throughout the entire game. According to Head Case in 2012, the top two sports that have the highest concussion rate are football and boy’s ice hockey. What is a concussion? A concussion is, “an injury to the brain that results in temporary loss of normal brain function. It usually is caused by a blow to the head.”

            Who do we look to with these high concussion rates? How do we make the games we know and love less risky for our health? Is there a way where each sport can be completely safe with no risk of injury? Some have pointed that we can make equipment better and safer for all. Others understand the risk of each sport they play and need to accept this risk for it makes that specific sport the way it is. All in all, is there any specific way to make all sports safer for every player?

Dangers of Football Are a Price Worth Paying

            Athletes in all sports are paid quite a lot. The highest paid football player in the NFL currently is Drew Brees from the New Orleans Saints. His estimated yearly endorsement is said to be $11,000,000. To the rest of us who have played several different sports and not get paid a thing, that is a big number. Drew Brees isn’t the only player who earns a lot of money while playing his sport. There are a ton of athletes out there who get paid quite a bit. Do the athletes know what kind of risk they are taking while going into this sport?

            When I was trying out for football at my High School, we had to take a concussion test. Not only was it to test out whether or not we had experienced a concussion or not as well as whether we currently had a concussion right there and then, it also taught us what exactly a concussion is. If we as the players do not know the dangers of the certain sport we are playing, whether it be football, hockey, boxing, or any other contact sport, then the sport can be even more dangerous for us as we don’t know how to prevent ourselves from getting injured.

            Do the football players in the NFL feel the same way? Or do they want to be safe the entire time while on the field? In a Washington Post, Robert Nkemdiche, a defensive lineman, was quoted when teaching football camp of his opinion, “At the end of the day, the game is a dangerous game. It's a collision. You want to do everything you can do to protect yourself and be on the line at the same time. You want to still be aggressive and still be a monster, but there's ways to do it in a safer manner. It's kind of like a paradox.” This is a battle with the athlete on whether or not he wants to play in the certain moment that he is in aggressively and risk getting injured, or to play it safe so that he doesn’t have to go through the side effects of the injury he had caused on himself.

            However, Nkemdiche also did say this, “"I'll play till I can't play no more. You get to a point of loving the game, and you're like: 'This is me. This is what I have to do. And I know I'm going to do it for a long time." Nkemdiche is not alone. When we find out something that we love to do, we want to give our one hundred percent no matter what to it. This is also the case for these football players. The players know the risk they are getting into. They know they could affect their health later down the road with one critical decision that can lead to one critical injury, but they still play their hardest because it is the thing they love to do.

            With this in mind that players do know the risks of playing sports like the example here in football, there are some who do know these risks and leave pretty early in their football career. How could this be? If they know the risk of playing the sport that they love, why not just battle through it? One of the reasons could be that a certain study had the athletes choose to not continue their career in football. In the same article, it lists several examples of the feelings of certain players leaving the NFL league: “A study published in the Journal of Neurotrauma last month was even more troubling, finding that repeated blows to the head that fall short of concussions can be just as damaging, if not more so. That's largely why Borland chose to retire from the NFL after just one season, despite the fact that it meant forfeiting future earnings and repaying a portion of his signing bonus. After contacting the leading neurologists in the field, he concluded that there simply were no guarantees for his long-term health as an NFL player. Tarpley concluded the same, explaining on his Instagram feed that he was leaving a game he loved "to preserve my future health" after suffering the third and fourth concussions of his career in a single NFL season.”

            There is this comic that Steve Breen, from Creators News Service, created that explains, in a funny way, the reason why football players leave so early because of the fear of their future health being affective. The first square drawing shows a football player all dressed up for a game talking to a teammate who is not dressed up for the game in any way named Chris. The suited up football player asks Chris, “Hi Chris. Why aren’t you suited up for practice?” Chris replies, “I’m retiring from the NFL. I don’t want to risk head injury.” In the next square sequence Chris asks the suited up football player, “So how are you feeling these days?” to which the football player replies with a simple, “Good” answer. The next square sequence just shows the two standing there showing that time has gone by. Then the next square shows the football player asking the same question he asked in the first square sequence. This comic illustrates one of the reasons why the football players leave early for their future health.

            Another NFL player, a Louisiana defensive tackle named Vernon Butler, gives the best argument for this situation, "Your body knows when it's time to stop." The players in each competitive and contact sport know or should know their own body’s compatibility. The players overall have the choice to choose whether to continue playing the game and continue risking getting injured or to take leave and protect their long term health.

            Even though players constantly get concussions in football, whether big or small, one study shows that actually playing through the concussion helps it recover double the time. When players are found to have a concussion after a hit in football, they are taken off the field where trainers figure out how bad it is. Some are not even bad enough and they can come back into the game. If it is a severe concussion then the player is to be kept off the field and goes under further investigation on how long the player has to wait until he can come back and play.

            But imagine the possibility to just come out of the field and diagnosed with a concussion, but put right back in because it doubles your recovery time. According to small study involving sixty-nine teenagers at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, the claim that there is evidence that players symptoms of concussions recovered faster while playing the game than rather off the field of game. They say, “Sidelined players reported symptoms immediately, including dizziness, headaches, and mental fogginess and fatigue, and were diagnosed with concussions by trainers or team physicians. The others, who continued playing for 19 minutes on average, delayed reporting symptoms and were diagnosed later.”

            But this can also be dangerous! They also say, “Return-to-play policies are widespread, especially in youth athletics, and they typically recommend sidelining players after a suspected concussion until symptoms resolve. One of the main reasons is to prevent a rare condition called second-impact syndrome--potentially fatal brain swelling or bleeding that can occur when a player still recovering from a concussion gets hit again in the head.” There can be a huge risk in continuing to play with a concussion. If a player continues to play with a concussion, according to the study, they will have double the recovery time, but one fatal hit could make the concussion even worse. In fact it can turn into a second-impact syndrome which could be fatal. Again, this all is depended on the player on whether or not he wants to continue playing or not or whether the league should step in and disallow the player who have been diagnosed with concussion to come back into the game.

Changes in Sports Equipment and Rules of Game

Every sport has its own type of equipment. Whether it be for better performance play or only for protection, each and every sport requires a form of equipment to wear for the players. Most of the gear that athletes wear are for protection. This includes large upper body pads for football and hockey players, shin guards for soccer players, even helmets for baseball players. These are to protect the vital and most vulnerable parts of the body in the certain sports they are in. This is so the player if taken a blow can be protected to the best of the ability of the equipment they put on and come out with as little as injury as possible.

            Even with this “safe” equipment players put on, we still see multiple injuries in sports. Isn’t it the companies who make the equipment for other player’s job to make the absolute best equipment to protect every player from getting injuries? Does the league of the certain sport have to make certain rules or change of rules to make the game safer for athletes?

              It can be extremely scary to be one day totally and perfectly functional and then all of a sudden a single hit on the field could change that. It is also scary that this also escapes peoples mind. Tadd Haislop in his article states, “…players develop a sense of invincibility. Then they're told not to rely on their protection. Swartz compared the theory to every-day motor vehicles, pointing out that ‘once they started having anti-lock brakes, padded interiors and seat belts, accident rates went up … deaths went up.’" Just because we keep making cars better and safer, doesn’t mean they are completely safe. This same principle can be applied here. Just because football equipment has become better and safer doesn’t mean the actual sport is totally safe. Just because the rules and fundamentals of football have evolved doesn’t mean football is completely safe.

            According to Roman Oben, who was drafted by the New York Giants in 1996, said this, “I have seen--as a player and now an executive and advocate for football--how the NFL continues to improve player health and safety. NFL coaches and players use safer tackling techniques, and we've made 42 rule changes over the past decade to protect our players. The league and the NFL Players Association reduced the number of full-contact practices and improved field surfaces to help lower the likelihood of injuries.” Football has become a safer sport as time has moved along. We see here that certain changes of the rules protect the athletes better than without these rules.

There has even been some major consequences for those who break this rule. For example, the rule of targeting in college football by the NCAA states: “By rule, every targeting foul is reviewed by the instant replay official. Up to this point, the replay official's role has been to verify whether the forcible contact was with the crown of the helmet or was struck at the head or neck area of a defenseless player. Now as part of the review, the replay official is directed to examine all elements of the ruling made by the official on the field, not only the location of the forcible contact. In addition, the replay official is empowered to "create" a foul if he sees an obvious and egregious targeting action that the officials on the field miss. Because the action is so dangerous and the ejection penalty so severe, the committee has made these changes to increase the probability that targeting fouls are correctly ruled and administered.”

The players who break this rule are in serious risk of not only hurting the player they are in coming contact with, but also themselves as well. The player is later ejected from the game for breaking such a dangerous act. By even ejecting the players of the game it does make the field for the remainder of the game safer. This is one of many examples that different sport leagues have changed the rules of the game to make athletes safer.

Making the game safe for athletes doesn’t just include the players alone. The coaches and parents of the players are also effected.

            The founders of Evoshield, a company who makes protective under armor wear for multiple sports, had a story to share about how they were influenced to start such a company. Their son was a big fan of football. He was a sophomore in high school and was starting in a football game. He caught a pass in the game and got hit from the front and the back pretty hard. He was put into an ambulance where he lost conciseness and never regained it. Instead of pointing their finger and blaming it on people, the parents started to think, “What is the next step to make youth sports safer?”

            They now go around not only making gear that protects more of you internally in all sports, but also teach the reason why certain parts should be protected. They help the young athletes become more knowledgeable of the game itself and understanding the reason why certain equipment is available for them. It helps the athletes understand safety. If the athletes understand why the rules and equipment are there, then understand the why the league makes the certain rules to make the game a whole lot safer.

Conclusion

            The two arguments presented here both acknowledge that football is not a safe sport and perhaps can never be completely safe. The differences where the two arguments branch out at is how to make the game safer or whether or not the game can be any safer than it already is. One expresses that football players know how much football can injure them whether it be short term or long term, but also accept that is usually the case with most other sports. This is where they teach a safer way to play whether it be the player itself or the leagues rules.

            The other side of the argument expresses that the equipment can be and should be better for players. This will help minimalize or significantly lower the injury rate of the players on both sides of the field. There is another part that this side and also the other side of the argument agree on as well and that is the players should know the rules of the gameplay. This one just adds more than just the way the players play, but also the equipment that protects them. They aren’t pointing fingers at certain at certain companies. Rather, they are trying to fix the problem to the best of their ability. The argument isn’t really blaming the problem on others. It is to see what is the next step is to make it safer while still enjoying the sport.

            Football will always be a contact sport. We enjoy sports with contact too much to even disband it. However, we can make the game safer. There are other suggestions that could be applied here, but the two main steps to making the game safer or understanding the danger of the game are as spoken above. Both sides want the game to be still enjoyable. Both sides want the kids to do the thing they love while being the safest they can be while doing it.

Works Cited

1.     American Association of Neurological Surgeons. "The American Association of Neurological Surgeons." AANS, Web. 06 Nov. 2016. 

2.     Head Case. "Head Case - Complete Concussion Managements." Stats on Concussions & Sports -. N.p., 2012. Web. 06 Nov. 2016. 

3.     Webster, Samue. "Top 100 Highest-Paid Athlete Endorsers of 2015 | Opendorse." Opendorse, 29 June 2016. Web. 06 Nov. 2016.

4.     Clarke, Liz. "For NFL Draft Picks, the Dangers of Football Are a Price Worth Paying." Washington Post, 29 Apr. 2016:, SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 06 Nov. 2016.

5.     EvoSHIELD. "The Taylor Haugen Foundation on Youth Equipment for Sports Safety." YouTube. YouTube, 23 Aug. 2013. Web. 06 Nov. 2016.

6.     Oben, Roman. "We're Making Football Safer." USA TODAY. 29 Apr. 2016: A.7. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 06 Nov. 2016.

7.     National Football Foundation, "College Football: Need-to-know Rule Changes for 2016 Season." NCAA.com., 03 Aug. 2016. Web. 06 Nov. 2016.

My Greatest Fear: A Failing Future (Short Thought)

"You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today."

-Abraham Lincoln

People tell us to don't live in the past. They say to prepare for the future you do something today. This is very sound advice. Only we can shape our own future. Only we can give ourselves the final say on what we do. We need to trust our self to do the best we can and make the best decision. But what happens if you can't trust yourself?

I remember in get-to-know-you activities, one of the top questions you would tell about yourself would be, "What is your Greatest Fear?". For the longest time, my younger self would always say being held hostage or large spiders. In my young mind, this would put me on the borderline of losing my mind and be in a complete state of panic. But as I have gotten older, a new fear developed in me. I would say that is started when I was on the ending point on my mission.

When I was preparing to come home, there were several emails that my parents and I talked about what I would do after my mission. This included job and school. In a LDS church mission, you are gone for 2 years basically just spreading the gospel continuously with no distractions. It was perhaps the most growing experience I have had in my life. But, to have that for 2 years and to come back to real life can be quite an adjustment. I think I adjusted pretty well, but what I wanted to do for my career was still uncertain. I thought of doing computer stuff, be it programming or building computers, and then maybe doing a little bit of music stuff on the side.

Then I took my first 3 semesters at BYU-I. I took 2 programming classes and a database class. I did, fairly well in those classes, but it just didn't click with me. I just didn't see myself doing that for a career choice. I took other classes to explore my options, but still, nothing stood out.

Then at the end of 2016, I transferred back to my home of Utah and applied to the Utah Valley University (UVU). This school had a lot more options so I decided to jump right in for my first semester to computers again. The same conclusion came to be. I just didn't feel it click and the desire of it just went away. 

It came at this time that I really had to think about what was I going to do? My first plan failed and I didn't prepare a back up. I was... terrified. I was looking sparaticaly at different computer class options and none of them peaked my interest. I started to go into a panic and just was looking frantically on what I could try to major in. I remember just sitting in my room with my computer opened, staring at the wall, not sure what to do.

I kept telling myself "I'm going to fail. I'm going to run out of money. I'm going to disappoint my friends and family. God will not want to help me get back up. I am going to start over in school again". These were the doubts I was constantly telling myself, over and over. In my mind, if you don't know or don't have a plan for your life, you are a loser. School is what gets you to your future career and if you can't finish school, then what other choices could you have?

I am now going through this same process again with my current and new major, nursing. I am in that state of panic of, "This isn't clicking. This doesn't make sense. I don't want to do this. What do I do?". I'm...terrified. 

Maybe I put my expectations wrong. Maybe I shouldn't define success as just getting through school. Maybe I shouldn't depend my happiness on certain things. But it still scares me. It has become, in my opinion, my greatest fear.

So what do I do? Do I look for another option again and keep paying for school for my current major, or try to go some other way or other major that would interest me? This is a constant question and battle I have been through these last 3 days. It wouldn't be such a big deal if a lot of money was also involved in here. I am leaning one way over the other, but I am still exploring my options. 

But in the end, who can make that decision? Who can go and change my degree or keep going on the current one I am on? Only I can. But it helps that I am not alone. I know many of those in school that are going through this same process and have battle this same question on what to do next. But not only do I have support from them. Family and friends will always be there. I also have a loving Heavenly Father, no matter how far away from the right path I take, will still love me and want me to come back to His loving arms. I have a crucial decision to make, but it is comforting I am not alone.

In the end, just realize there are all kinds of people out there that don't know what they want to do. They don't know what next step they should take in their life. Their fears keeps them from going forward or even to attempt to move. But fear should never absolutely control us. Fear is a motive, but it shouldn't be our long lasting motive. Learn to trust yourself, ask advisers and others for advice, and know that you are never alone.

As the Moon, So Beautiful (Tsuki ga Kirei) Mini Review

"To decide I’m hopeless before I even begin is nothing but laziness"– Dazai

I am starting to find out the specific genres of shows I love to watch. They have to have these two key elements: 

1. A ever growing relationship (Love or not)

2. The plot involves the family, or family growth.

This can be very clear as the show CLANNAD, which basically means family, as my favorite show. I gave a little review in my previous blog which can be found here: https://parooka.blogspot.com/2017/02/tomoyo-after-its-wonderful-life-mini.html

I came across this show as I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and the Crunchy Roll ad suggested I start watching this. I saved it to my bookmark tab like I do with all other anime I intend to watch and kept going on through my Facebook. I didn't really start to watch it till about 2 weeks later while I was donating plasma. 

The basic plot of this show is, "Kotaro Azumi and Akane Mizuno became third year students at junior high school and are classmates for the first time. They’re put in charge of the equipment for the sports festival, and slowly grow closer via LINE (Phone Messages). These two, along with fellow students, relate to their peers through mutual understandings and feelings. As their final year at junior high school progresses, the group overcome their challenges to mature and become aware of changes in themselves."

At first glance this seems like a typical school relationship/drama show with all its cliches. And, you would be right. However, in my opinion, this show had something that caught me. The animation and the two main characters. The animation, when hand drawn, looks simply breath taking and amazing in detail. I forgot at times that I was watching a TV show instead of a movie. There are times where it randomly switches to CG 3D models and the models just look lifeless. It is a great thing that none of the main characters are victim to this. These 3D models are mainly just for people filler in certain place in which the scene takes place. 

JUST LOOK HOW OUT OF PLACE THEY LOOK?!?!?

Maybe a third key element can be added to the list as mentioned before:

3. Very relateable characters

Most every show has a character you can somewhat relate to, but there are very few that have some kind of character that defines you right on the nose. I felt it as I watch the movie A Silent Voice. The same I can say here. The two main characters, Kotarō Azumi and Akane Mizuno, were amazing together. It reminded me the feeling of having a school relationship and discovering the different feelings of love. Back when we were more innocent and open minded. They grow together, they get to know each other, the find the definition of love together.

What really has turned me off lately with movies or shows with romantic elements in them is that they just end when one declares the love for the other and then magically they live happily ever after. I would like to know what happens after. How does their relationship strengthen further? What other obstacles do they overcome? This happens frequently in main romantic genres in anime. However, although this show doesn't execute it as well as other shows I admire, it still ends with a warm feeling in your heart. 

**SPOILERS**

They show the other adventures this couple goes through as they grow up and later show the whole extended family together celebrating Azumi and Akane's first born child. 

In conclusion, this show has a special place in my heart. It reminded me of the hard times of separation, what exactly to say to a special someone, and just learning how to handle relationship issues. The animation, although not super realistic, still looks very pretty and captures each scene's atmosphere. Every time I saw Azumi and Akane together finding ways to overcome certain challenges and proving time and time again that they love each other and something we can continually learn as well.

“I want to spend my time with people who don't look to be respected. But such good people won't want to spend their time with me.” 

― Osamu Dazai, The Setting Sun

My Bullied History / Koe no Katachi (A Silent Voice) Mini Review

"Everyone goes through difficulties in life. But we're all in the same boat, aren't we? You have to learn to love even the things you hate about yourself and move forward." 

-A Silent Voice

As far as I can remember, I have been always a super sensitive kid. Whether I had it since birth or it was developed over time, I do not know. Even the silliest little insult at times that can be easily identified as a minor joke or to make me laugh at myself can possibly hurt me dearly as well. I don't know whether this is a good or bad attribute to have in my life, but it has taken me since elementary school to understand it a little bit better. Why do you ask since elementary? This was my earliest memory of getting bullied.

I believe we all get bullied throughout our life. Whether it be by someone at school or even at home meaning a brother, sister, or even parents, we have had some kind of bullied experience. This has probably happen the other way as well where we have bullied someone when we were young. What comes as a huge factor however to when we are bullied is how sensitive we are to the words being said to us or actions that are being included in by someone. As mentioned before, I was a very sensitive kid and still really sensitive now. I did, and still do at times, let myself hurt too easily by some little thing people say at times. We all hear that saying where, "Stick and Stones will break my bones, but words will never break me." To some extent, this is true. We shouldn't let word easily defeat us. We shouldn't let others definitions of ourselves destroy our own definition of ourselves. However, words still hurt. They can hurt very badly. 

In elementary school, I was bullied very heavily. It is very funny though because I was a big kid and could have easily stood up to the bullies that were bullying me. However, I was getting hurt very easily and it was pretty much hurting my way of life and school. My mother could see this and decided to transfer me to a different school. This was a private church school and so surely this would not have the trouble of bullying here, right? 

Actually, in my opinion, the bullying was even worse. Where as the bullying at my previous school was mostly done by boys, this time is was mainly girls. They didn't even want to touch me, look at me, or even interact with me. It was just terrible. I remember thinking, "If this is how all girls are, then I don't want any part of them." 

Don't get me wrong, I now realize I am a super weird person. But to have this thrown at you day after day in school, saying that you don't fit in, can very be heartbreaking. Now this never escalated to the point where I wanted to end my life or hurt myself physically in any way. However, there were other ways where I did hurt myself emotionally. With being bullied, comes a huge amount of stress. And being the young kid that I was, I was dealing with stress poorly in terrible ways. I started to want to separate myself and be alone. This even included my family. Maybe this was some kind of phase every teenager goes through whether it be a rebel part or another, but I firmly believe that the main trigger was bullying and self-definition. 

It came to a part where...I did start hating myself for a bit. Why was I like this? Why did I like the certain things that was I was getting made fun of? What was the true definition of normal? And was I as far away from that definition as possible as a person? I felt as if everyone had some wrong thing to point out at me. To quote one of my favorite shows named "Say 'I Love You', "No one likes others pointing out their weakness."

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I recently saw a movie called 聲の形 (pronounced Koe No Katachi) or in English, A Silent Voice. I was introduced to it through a church mission friend on Facebook. I read the manga/comic and really liked it and later found out a movie was coming out for it. It is my favorite slice-of-life movie to date. To put in short summary from Wikipedia, "The story revolves around Shoya Ishida, a former delinquent who bullied Shoko Nishimiya, his deaf girl classmate, alongside his friends back when he was in elementary school. When Nishimiya transferred, all of his friends and teachers turned against him, making him isolated well into high school to the point that he decides that there is no point in having friends. Having no plans for the future, Ishida even contemplates on committing suicide until he suddenly reunites with Nishimiya, who is still lonely due to her shyness. Realizing that both are suffering due to his past sins, Ishida sets out on a path of redemption by trying to reconnect Nishimiya with their old classmates that Nishimiya never had the chance to befriend back then.

To me, I was a combination between the two main characters in this story, Shoko Nishimiya and Shoya Ishida. Both go through such a hard time of people telling them that they are worthless, that they did things wrong. It even comes to the point where Shoya Ishida blocks out everyone and in his eyes, doesn't see peoples faces. Shoko Nishimiya even apologizes to people constantly for even being alive or in the peoples lives and hates herself for it. This was the sort of thing I found myself relating to. How did they fix these feelings? Well, a lot of factors came into play, but one main one stood out to me: They relied on each other plus friends and family to continue finding a reason to continue and live! 

This is how I remember getting out of the situation I was in. I did change schools, though I did have some good friends in that school as well. But the main thing was perhaps the group of friends I had in my church group where we gave constant support to each other. I also realized my family's love for me and very much appreciated it. I had great leaders in my Scouts program and church that help gather up my self-love again. Instead of blocking people out or just listening to the negative explanations of people pointing our flaws in my life, I started to listen to people more and see if there was any way I could correct the current flaws they pointed out. Instead of completely relying on myself for comfort. I found others, and I constantly found God again and again to help me improve myself. This does not mean I liked who I was. It means I loved who I was, current am, and who I can become.

Let me explain my last sentence in the last paragraph: I loved who I was meaning the great things I was that I didn't realize back then. Did I make mistakes? Ya, of course. But because of those mistakes and overcoming them or constantly becoming better to resist those bad things, I can be who I am today and become even better tomorrow.

As I look through people online who have been bullied and shared their story, one constant question that pretty much sticks out to me is, "Would've you like to change your life back then so that you would've handled things better?" To that I would answer: 

No.

I love who I am because of the actions and trials I went through. I love who I am now because I know how to overcome those obstacles if and when they come up again. Could there have been a better way to deal with them? Sure, but thinking on that constantly will not change a thing. Thinking about the now and to improve is the way I live my life now.  

I am still fully against bullying. I think it has a severe self-destructing effect on others than people realize. It can even lead to the cause of confused identification. People can sometimes lose the confidence in their-selves. But even if we get bullied, or even when we do bully others and feel completely bad about it, it is not the end of the world! We can overcome anything with help others. We may not stop bullying altogether, but we can sure stop and reverse the effects of it. 

Tomoyo After ~It's a Wonderful Life~ Mini Review

There are only a few things in this world that make me cry. "Tomoyo: It's A Wonderful Life" is now added to this list.

Let me take you back to when I was first introduced to this universe: I was an average freshman in my first semester in college after returning from my church mission. During my mission, I had gotten into this idea that I wanted to watch different anime shows. The problem was, I didn't know where exactly I should start. I finished one anime called "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" and liked it very much. I didn't know quite the genre I was particularly interested in. Then one of my roommates who was trying to connect with me so I didn't seem like an outsider in this apartment complex, suggested of an anime called, "CLANNAD".  I went into this blind trusting his suggestion. What I didn't expect was that this particular anime was going to be my favorite shows of all time. It wasn't some show where it was like, "Wow! That was truly amazing! I need to watch it again as soon as possible". It was more of a calm and heartwarming. But the number one reason why this show is talked about is defined in this image:

Have you ever watched a movie or a show where you swear you are so close to the characters or can directly relate to them that you care so much about them? This was the instance of CLANNAD. The characters are introduced to you and one particular character, named Tomoya (TO-MO-YA), tries his best to fix each character that he comes in contact with issues. This is the case with the first part of the show which is just named, "CLANNAD". This impact becomes even harder in "CLANNAD: After Story" which is the second part of the CLANNAD show. It has been said that if you don't shed a tear during this entire show, then you are a monster.

Sorry, I got a little to ahead of myself. I won't give any spoilers  Here is the plot summary that introduces the show: Tomoya Okazaki is a third year high school student resentful of his life. His mother passed away from a car accident when he was younger, causing his father to resort to alcohol and gambling. This results in fights between the two until Tomoya's shoulder is injured in a fight. Since then, Tomoya has had distant relationships with his father, causing him to become a delinquent over time. While on a walk to school, he meets a strange girl named Nagisa Furukawa who is a year older, but is repeating due to illness. Due to this, she is often alone as most of her friends have moved on. The two begin hanging out and slowly, as time goes by, Tomoya finds his life shifting in a new direction.

Now to introduce one of the characters that Tomoya meets in this show. This person, as mentioned in the title of the game I am reviewing, is Tomoyo Sakagami. Her summary from giantbomb.com says, "Tomoyo is a recently transferred second year student at Tomoya's school and is one of the top students of the school. Although she is a year younger than Tomoya, she does not show him respect as her senior. Tomoyo's goal is to become the student council president. " 

Now this show is based on a visual novel game that share the same name as the show. In this visual novel, you have the choice to choose different paths that lead to a different story and also a relationship with the different characters you encounter. Tomoyo After is following the story of your decisions to follow the Tomoyo route in the original novel where Tomoyo is now your girlfriend that you are steady dating. To put it short, Tomoyo After ~It's a Wonderful Life~ follows the same format as the CLANNAD visual novel. You have certain choices that you can make to choose different paths in the story. Some can really alternate the story and make some incredible emotional moments. Although these moments are everywhere, I never really cried or felt depressed here, UNTIL THE VERY END. I will not spoil it for anyone, but never had I felt so close to one character in a long time.

I was in the plasma center donating when I reach the ending of this long and heart wrenching story. When that particular part it, I started to tear up a bit and people started looking at me weird. I would probably have the same reaction if someone did the same thing I did. Although I was embarrassed, I was still glad I was able to read this story. I came home to my apartment where the roommate I had previously that introduced me to CLANNAD was and told him I hate him for introducing me into this show/universe. Of course I meant it jokingly. 

In the end, if you are looking for a heartwarming and tearful story, I would say that this visual novel/story is a good choice. I understand if you do not like anime or don't want to come even close to it. But for all those who can look past that, this is something I would highly recommend. 

*Note: The one on steam is the clean version so all the bad scenes so I rather get this one than the other.

Electoral College vs. Popular Vote

                 The 2016 elections was a crazy experience for all. Not many knew who to vote for or even if they wanted to vote. Both candidates got below 50% of all the votes which means less than half of America did not like either one. According to CNN, Donald J. Trump got 46.3% of the votes and Hillary Clinton got 48.2% of all the votes that were counted. Even though Donald Trump got only 62,693,993 votes to Hillary Clinton’s 65,260,513 votes, he still won the election. Shouldn’t Hilary Clinton be the winner in this election since she got the biggest number of votes towards her? The Electoral College was the only thing that got in her way to win. The Electoral College should be the way the election is run because it shows the stance of the states and makes sure each state has value.

            This result isn’t new. There are plenty of U.S. elections in the past where even the loser got more votes than the declared winner of the election. In fact, in all the elections that we have had, we have had four not including our most recent election this year that the candidate who won the election did not get the popular vote. It first started out Andrew Jackson and John Quincy Adams in 1824. Jackson had 38,000 more votes than Adams, but still lost because he didn’t meet the required electoral vote of 131. Second was Rutherford B. Hayes who was 250,000 votes behind Samuel J. Tilden, but still won the electoral vote. The 2000 election was the more recent one where Bush beat Al Gore even though Bush was 540,000 votes behind.

            So what makes a candidate win an election? We already established that the winner doesn’t always need the most votes, or as it is well known as, the popular vote to win. This is because our Founding Fathers of the United States America through many different ideas chose the way to president would win the election would be through something called the College of Electors, or as we call it now, the Electoral College. On the archives.gov website, they said what the Electoral College is saying, “The founding fathers established it in the Constitution as a compromise between election of the President by a vote in Congress and election of the President by a popular vote of qualified citizens. The Electoral College process consists of the selection of the electors, the meeting of the electors where they vote for President and Vice President, and the counting of the electoral votes by Congress”. This way of election has always been a part of our system since the foundation of the United States becoming a country.

            However, mostly because of this recent election, there have been many who have signed petitions and want to fight for the Electoral College to be done away with and just be dependent on the popular vote. They claim that this way, every vote will be counted and valued and this way it would be fair.

            Let us clarify what exactly the voting process is for the Electoral College. In the response to the question, “Why does the U.S. have an Electoral College?” Joe Miller answered the following, “When U.S. citizens go to the polls to “elect” a president, they are in fact voting for a particular slate of electors. In every state but Maine and Nebraska, the candidate who wins the most votes (that is, a plurality) in the state receives all of the state’s electoral votes. The number of electors in each state is the sum of its U.S. senators and its U.S. representatives. (The District of Columbia has three electoral votes, which is the number of senators and representatives it would have if it were permitted representation in Congress.) The electors meet in their respective states forty-one days after the popular election. There, they cast a ballot for president and a second for vice president. A candidate must receive a majority of electoral votes to be elected president.” Instead of just counting up all the votes of those who voted in America, this Electoral College way includes each and every person in that state able to show their say in what president they want.

            But even the Electoral defined, there are others still saying that popular vote would still be the fairest way for a president to be elected. So the main question is: “Why did the founding fathers create the electoral college instead of doing the popular vote”? Joe Miller further explains on this question, “The reason that the Constitution calls for this extra layer, rather than just providing for the direct election of the president, is that most of the nation’s founders were actually rather afraid of democracy. James Madison worried about what he called “factions,” which he defined as groups of citizens who have a common interest in some proposal that would either violate the rights of other citizens or would harm the nation as a whole.” Let’s think for a minute and picture that the popular vote actually is the way we vote the president. The most populated state in America is California which has approximately thirty-eight million people. California has voted for the democratic candidate every time since 1992. If popular vote was the way we do elections that would mean majority of that population would go toward the democratic candidate. The same can be said for the other side like Texas.

            If this was the case, the country would become divided as the country would be run by, as James Madison called them, factions. The large cities that would be dominantly conservative or liberal would more likely establish the outcome of the election instead of the whole state itself. In other words, the large cities would be more in power than the whole state itself.

            The whole purpose why we call ourselves the United States of America is so that all of us will support each other and the American people will be united in purpose. If we allow different factions to control our countries outcomes, we are not all united. The only way that all of America can be representative is by the Electoral College. The popular vote only shows how dived the country is.

            Gary Gregg said it best, “If the United States does away with the Electoral College, future presidential elections will go to candidates and parties willing to cater to urban voters and skew the nation’s policies toward big-city interests. Small-town issues and rural values will no longer be their concern.” The electoral vote is the best way to show that every vote matters. Are there better ways to vote for a president in this country? There could be possibly better ways, yes. However, changing the entire system to the popular vote would not be the right decision and step towards the fairest election method.

            The preamble of the Constitution of the United States of America states, “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” Notice how at the beginning it says “We the People”. This country has the special opportunity for all of its residents to speak out and stand up for what they believe for.  We the People have the ability to vote who we want to become the next president of the United States. We the People are best represented in the presidential election by the Electoral College. The Electoral College is the best way to represent “We the People” in the presidential election.

The hope is that this country doesn’t turn into the Divided Factions of America or even to the United Large Cities of America. The founding fathers created this country and its name for a purpose so that all the states may become united no matter our different opinions. Popular vote will just magnify that division and we won’t become the name we were put out to be. Whether the president candidate that we voted for does not win the election, we should still move on and still let our voice be heard. Let us not complain that a system is corrupt because it simply did not go our way. We should continue to stand strong and let our voices still be heard. The Electoral College should be the way we vote for the future president of the United States of America.

Works Cited

Collisen, Stephen. "President-elect Trump." CNN. CNN, Web. 08 Dec. 2016.

Gore, D'Angelo. "Presidents Winning Without Popular Vote." FactCheck., 24 Mar. 2008. Web. 09 Dec. 2016.

"U. S. Electoral College, Official - What Is the Electoral College?" National Archives and Records Administration. Web. 10 Dec. 2016.

Miller, Joe. "The Reason for the Electoral College." FactCheck, 11 Feb. 2011. Web. 11 Dec. 2016.

"California Elected Officials Lookup." California Presidential Election Voting History. Web. 11 Dec. 2016.

Gregg, Gary. "Electoral College Keeps Elections Fair." POLITICO. Politico, 05 Dec. 2012. Web. 13 Dec. 2016.

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