Pressure of Getting Married

Being in Utah and being single can be pretty tough. The default mindset of when you come home from your church mission is usually looking for a wife and dating a ton. This is a pretty good goal to think about. I mean, we all want to be with someone we love all the time whether we want marriage or not. But being pressurized to get married fast or not jumping on dating can be stressful.

I have been home from my mission for about 5 months now and haven't gone on a single date. Why? That's a good question because most days I ask myself that. Why don't I reach out and ask girls on dates? Am I scared? Do I think it's a waste of time? I have been thinking about this a while and it does trouble me. Being married to the one I love is one of my huge goals. Before I came home from my mission, I had an interview with my mission president and we were discussing the next goals in my life. Everything looked like it was lined up right with school, jobs, transportation. The only thing that wasn't super clear was dating. My mission president gave me this advice, "When you fine the right girl and you love her and she loves you, don't wait for while, make plans to get married." At first this was pretty alarming to hear. Getting married or planning marriage that soon while dating?! That's super fast. But as I have come back to a normal life, I can see others who do put off marriage for quite sometime and you see them question their relationship and things start falling apart.

We should date! Absolutely! No question! But for some odd reason we think when we go on dates that instantly we are in a relationship with that person. One date means a relationship to us. I find that funny. I even thought that way in High school. But dating helps us understand who the person we asked on a date truly are and we get to know them.

There is also one point I want to make before I drop this topic. I am a big believer of fixing ourselves or finding ourselves before we depend on others for happiness or discovering ourselves. If we depend to much on one person for our happiness, we soon lose what we find our own happiness on whether it be scriptures, sports, friends, family or whatever. Once we find our happiness or our road, then the relationship we have with others will not completely control our life.

I am a wierd person. I AM! I like certain things that others find wierd, time wasting or whatever. But does that stop me from thinking about dating or moving foreword from life? No. Just because I like something that may seem odd, different, or doesn't quite fit your life style doesn't mean I don't go through the same struggles as others do or just ignore them.

Marriage is, again, one of my big goals. And I am sure that over time I will learn more about preparing for marriage or just love in general. I don't know everything about love and I don't believe anyone else does either. But we constantly learn more about it every day as we should.

Don't let others pressure you to go on dates. Go at your own pace. Don't let others press you to get married super soon. Go at your own pace and pay attention how good you feel about the situation. Get your life in order so that your future spouse may help you, but not be all depended on.